There's a constant, cold north wind blowing and I guess it's kind of appropriate. It's a reminder that the world can be a cold place sometimes.
It's funny I woke up this morning and thought about life and the decisions you make and the effect that all of that has on someone. I left my parents house 8 months ago and thought I was ready for all that life would throw at me. Now, after taking a beating from life and my own decisions, I'm a bit scared at what I'm going to face when I hit the road again.
It's funny in an ironic sort of way I guess......it just lets you know how humbling it can all be sometimes. One minute your flying high and you think you have the world in the palm of your hand......you make a decision and wham! Life hits you with a left hook you didn't see coming. But everyone gets knocked down and we all make mistakes in life. No one's perfect and no one makes all the right choices in life.....it just doesn't happen.
I was given some great advice by a friend awhile back and he said, "everyone makes mistakes, it's how we react from those mistakes that defines who we are."
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Haunted
Lately, it seems I've been haunted by this particular song.....and I do mean haunted. I woke up at 3:45am this morning with thoughts and visions crowding the corners of my mind. When the fog cleared, I thought of the lyrics of this song.
It all started when I was in Houston visiting a friend and he was playing some songs on the piano. My friend is a very talented piano player and vocalist and he was giving me a sample of his repertoire. He started playing this song and singing it and I hadn't heard it in years, but when he started singing the song, it instantly struck something deep inside me. Like I said, I've been listening to a lot of music lately and I think Phil Collins got this one down perfectly.
Against All Odds by Phil Collins
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you oohhhh
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me, is against the odds
And that's what I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face.
Take a good look at me now
'Cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to face
Take A look at me now
It all started when I was in Houston visiting a friend and he was playing some songs on the piano. My friend is a very talented piano player and vocalist and he was giving me a sample of his repertoire. He started playing this song and singing it and I hadn't heard it in years, but when he started singing the song, it instantly struck something deep inside me. Like I said, I've been listening to a lot of music lately and I think Phil Collins got this one down perfectly.
Against All Odds by Phil Collins
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you oohhhh
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me, is against the odds
And that's what I've got to face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face.
Take a good look at me now
'Cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to face
Take A look at me now
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Always on my mind
As I've been stuck trying to figure out my life going forward, I've been listening to a lot of music and finding meaning in the songs that I listen to. There are tons of great songs out there and lots of talented songwriters, but it sometimes seems that country musicians tell the best stories or have the best lyrics. And here's one that strikes home:
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Tell me, tell me that your
Sweet love hasn't died
And give me
Give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied satisfied
Little things I should have
Said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind....
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
Tell me, tell me that your
Sweet love hasn't died
And give me
Give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied satisfied
Little things I should have
Said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind....
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A Truly Texas Birthday
I awoke on my 29th birthday in Houston, after visiting a close friend for the couple of days preceding the big day. I thought of my current situation......unemployed and living with my parents......and while I must admit, it was a bit depressing, it didn't stop me from having a truly great day in Texas. I left my friend's place early in the morning and decided to take Alternate 90 back to San Antonio, which would be one of the best decisions of the day. Alternate 90 took me first through Richmond/Rosenburg where I stopped off and reminisced about an adventure at the local movie theater that Scott, Josh and I endured after Scott got a little too excited about seeing 'Escape from LA' with Kurt Russell!
With good thoughts in my head, I headed on down the road and saw a turn off for Wharton.....only 27 miles away. I decided that I need to turn off and go see my home town. After all, when was the next time I was going to be near Wharton on my birthday? So, I took the turn off and drove down Hwy 59 into the familiar pecan trees and farmland that surrounded Wharton, TX, my birthplace.
Right after turning off at the clinic and hospital that was home to my dad for so many hours during our younger years, Alan Jackson's 'Remember When' came on the radio, and I must admit, a tear came down as I drove by my old middle school. I drove through downtown and then by my old junior high school. After that, I drove to the old hospital and the building that I was born in and stopped the car and said a prayer of thanks. I then went to my old high school to see some of my former teachers and surprisingly, they remembered me. It was a humbling experience when they asked what I was doing now and I had to reply that I was 'unemployed and back home' but just the same, it's the humbling experiences that mean the most. After talking with my former teachers, I decided to head by my old elementary school for a bit. Then out to our old house and a walk around the perimeter to the back yard to find all of our peach trees gone, and of course, the graves for all our German Shepherds. I then decided to go visit a friend and drove to the cemetery to see the grave of my friend John Wobbe.
After reliving life and death in my hometown, I decided to hit the road again and made my way through Egypt (no, really) and Eagle Lake and met up again with Alternate 90. The drive was a beautiful one that took me through some small Texas towns I hadn't been through in ages. Just outside of Hallettsville, I stopped off at Janak's meat market and picked up a jalapeno sausage sandwich with mustard and homemade sauerkraut that was pretty amazing. I stopped off in Shiner and wanted to do the brewery tour, but it was going to put me late for the rest of the day. So, I kept on rolling down the road and made it back to San Antonio in time for my counseling session. After counseling, I went back out to my parent's place to go for my customary birthday run to clear my head. I then met my parents, grandparents, my nephew, my cousin Christina, and my brother Scott and his wife for a nice meal at a Thai restaurant in town. I know, BBQ might have been a better fit, but hey, you can't beat good Thai food!
I would have loved to do absolutely nothing up in DC with the one I love, but this was a pretty damn good day. If nothing, it was reflective and humbling and that's not necessarily a bad thing on your birthday.
With good thoughts in my head, I headed on down the road and saw a turn off for Wharton.....only 27 miles away. I decided that I need to turn off and go see my home town. After all, when was the next time I was going to be near Wharton on my birthday? So, I took the turn off and drove down Hwy 59 into the familiar pecan trees and farmland that surrounded Wharton, TX, my birthplace.
Right after turning off at the clinic and hospital that was home to my dad for so many hours during our younger years, Alan Jackson's 'Remember When' came on the radio, and I must admit, a tear came down as I drove by my old middle school. I drove through downtown and then by my old junior high school. After that, I drove to the old hospital and the building that I was born in and stopped the car and said a prayer of thanks. I then went to my old high school to see some of my former teachers and surprisingly, they remembered me. It was a humbling experience when they asked what I was doing now and I had to reply that I was 'unemployed and back home' but just the same, it's the humbling experiences that mean the most. After talking with my former teachers, I decided to head by my old elementary school for a bit. Then out to our old house and a walk around the perimeter to the back yard to find all of our peach trees gone, and of course, the graves for all our German Shepherds. I then decided to go visit a friend and drove to the cemetery to see the grave of my friend John Wobbe.
After reliving life and death in my hometown, I decided to hit the road again and made my way through Egypt (no, really) and Eagle Lake and met up again with Alternate 90. The drive was a beautiful one that took me through some small Texas towns I hadn't been through in ages. Just outside of Hallettsville, I stopped off at Janak's meat market and picked up a jalapeno sausage sandwich with mustard and homemade sauerkraut that was pretty amazing. I stopped off in Shiner and wanted to do the brewery tour, but it was going to put me late for the rest of the day. So, I kept on rolling down the road and made it back to San Antonio in time for my counseling session. After counseling, I went back out to my parent's place to go for my customary birthday run to clear my head. I then met my parents, grandparents, my nephew, my cousin Christina, and my brother Scott and his wife for a nice meal at a Thai restaurant in town. I know, BBQ might have been a better fit, but hey, you can't beat good Thai food!
I would have loved to do absolutely nothing up in DC with the one I love, but this was a pretty damn good day. If nothing, it was reflective and humbling and that's not necessarily a bad thing on your birthday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)